I wish it was Monday evening right now. Tomorrow night, I will have survived my first day of school, and I think I will be able to breathe a lot easier.
My husband asked me yesterday if I thought I was more nervous than my most nervous student. Good question, I think.
Considering I have several new students in my homeroom and a couple in my classes, I would have to say that I have at least a few students who are more nervous about tomorrow than I am. I would be willing to bet, though, that I am at least as nervous, probably more, than the rest of my students.
So what is it exactly that I'm so nervous about? I'm not really sure. I think it's mostly that I know I don't know everything I probably should know. I'm pretty sure something will come up that I didn't think about, that I don't have a plan for.
And, that will have to be okay. There are going to be things that I do wrong or that I don't know how to do at all, and I'll just have to do like we learned to do in high school drama-- if you mess up, just keep going...
The truth is, I really believe I'm going to be a good teacher. I just have to survive the procedures, the paperwork, the orientation, the learning of the systems. I'm very excited, too. I'm mostly ready to have this first day done with because then I will have done it once and surely can do it again, and better.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The Safety Net
Ok, I admit it: I'm a huge worrier.
I was kind of surprised with my schedule when I got it (teaching more subjects that I expected), and I've been really concerned that I'm going to be overwhelmed.
So, I finally followed my husband's advice and called my principal to talk it over. I didn't really expect him to do anything about it, and I was right. But I also knew that what I mostly wanted was a pep-talk, and I got it. He reminded me that they have a lot of confidence in me, and if I ever get too overwhelmed, he'll figure out a way to help me, like having someone cover my study hall for example.
Nothing has really changed, except that now I realize I have a safety net. I know that if ever I am so slammed that I think I can't make it, there's help. I think that just knowing that is enough. Know what I mean?
If you're in a difficult situation, and you know you are on your own no matter how bad it gets, it feels hopeless pretty quick. I think you can bear a lot more when you know there's relief available if you really need it.
I was kind of surprised with my schedule when I got it (teaching more subjects that I expected), and I've been really concerned that I'm going to be overwhelmed.
So, I finally followed my husband's advice and called my principal to talk it over. I didn't really expect him to do anything about it, and I was right. But I also knew that what I mostly wanted was a pep-talk, and I got it. He reminded me that they have a lot of confidence in me, and if I ever get too overwhelmed, he'll figure out a way to help me, like having someone cover my study hall for example.
Nothing has really changed, except that now I realize I have a safety net. I know that if ever I am so slammed that I think I can't make it, there's help. I think that just knowing that is enough. Know what I mean?
If you're in a difficult situation, and you know you are on your own no matter how bad it gets, it feels hopeless pretty quick. I think you can bear a lot more when you know there's relief available if you really need it.
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