What I Think about Teaching

I love being a teacher.  I'm enjoying one of the best things about it right now.  I have to admit, it's pretty great to see a boost in my checking account twice a month... while I'm lounging at the pool, reading in my hammock, planting things in my garden, and sleeping til 10.

Now, as the end of summer starts to appear on the horizon, I have to admit that there's a tiny bit of dread setting in, too.  I feel like summer just started! I'm not ready to go back to school! There's so many items remaining on my to-do list!

But I know by the time August rolls around, I'll be ready.  And in the meantime, I think I'll remind myself of why I know being a teacher is the perfect career for me:

• Summer. I know I already said it, but it's so wonderful to still have room in my life to do the things that make me who I am-- besides an English teacher.
• Identity. When I meet someone and tell them what I do, they already know a lot about me and what I value. 
• Challenge.  There are always new problems to conquer, always a way to improve, to tweak.   There's so much information out there about how to improve as a teacher. There are so many cases in which I can just examine my own methods and apply tactics I know will be more effective. There's always a way to be better.   It's true that, as a perfectionist, at times this aspect of the job is really hard for me.  Nothing's ever good enough.  The job is never done. However, it forces me to examine myself not only as a teacher, but to grow as a person. Speaking of growing as a person....
• Personal Growth: .Man, there are so many ways being a teacher has made me a better person.
• Addressing Conflict:  I hate conflict.   In my personal life, I have always tried to avoid it. In my career, though, it is very clear to me that in order to be the best teacher I can be, I have to stand up for myself and what I believe is in the best interest of my students.  This has helped me tremendously in becoming a more assertive person.  
• I recently got an email with a parent complaining about my choice for summer reading.  It was respectful and considerate, but it made me feel terrible and anxious. I really had to think about how to respond in a way that honored the parent's concern, but explained my point-of-view as well.  I was able to (hopefully) respond kindly without completely backing down, which I've been known to do. This is good practice for me. Maybe in the future I won't feel so shaken any time my choices are questioned. ( I hope so. It feels awful)
• I once had a student whose mother was clearly writing his papers for him.  I was able to confront her because I felt strongly enough about the disservice she was doing her child that it was worth  enduring the discomfort of a painful conversation.
• Becoming more thick-skinned.  One of the hardest things about my first year teaching was the emotional burden of managing 100 different relationships with teenagers.  Sometimes they say mean things. Sometimes the lesson goes poorly. Sometimes I made wrong conclusions about a student.  Sometimes I tried to do nice things for them and they were ungrateful and rude.  As a result, I cried. A lot.  I took it all personally. If they were rude, it really hurt my feelings.  If I made a mistake, I felt I was the worst person ever to try to teach adolescents.  Eventually, I had to realize that if I kept letting it all get to me, I wouldn't last very long.  I don't know how it happened exactly, but over the last 4 years, I've learned, to some extent, to let things go a little easier. I know I still have a long way to go in this arena, but school definitely makes me cry a lot less than it used to.  That has to be a good sign, right?
• Recognizing My Strengths and Weaknesses:  Being in charge of a class really highlights some of the things I'm terrible at,  but I also see much more clearly the things I'm really good at.  Teaching  plays to my strengths (creativity, desire to help, compassion, bossiness  :) , morningpersonness). And asks me to be better at things I really value but sometimes struggle with (organization, sensitivity/knowing where a person is coming from & what they need, assertiveness, flexibility)

What about having an impact?  This is the part they always tell you is so rewarding about being a teacher, and so far, I've experienced  a few examples of this, and it certainly does feel good.  But, honestly,  the moments when I really sense that what I'm doing "really matters" are few and far between. So while I do love feeling oh-so-important, I can't say it's a major player in my job-satisfaction.  I  do hope I'm making an impact, more than I can easily express... but if that's the only thing I liked about my job, it'd be pretty hard to drag myself to work every morning.

It's just a pretty awesome gig, really: I get to be with really neat kids all day, talking about things I am nutty about.   I'll have to write more about those two things sometime... the kids and the content. Because really, those are the best part of my job, and I just ran out of steam before I got to write about them!